Friday, December 17, 2010

Sue Funke - The Resume


Stand-up Comedy 2003 - Present
New York, NY

  • The Greenwich Avenue Treehouse Bar Weekly Open Mic (2007-2010)
  • Convergence and The Ultimate Experts Presents monthly shows at Ochi’s Lounge (2008-2010)
  • Comix, Caroline’s on Broadway, Comic Strip, Broadway Comedy Club, The Laugh Lounge, New York Comedy Club, Brokerage Comedy Club
Opened for
  • Kevin Hart, Darrell Hammond for clips

Sketch Comedy 2006 - Present
New York, NY

Founder, Writer Performer - The Ultimate Experts
  • Resident sketch group of The Producers Club (2007- 2009)
  • Over 100 original sketches written and performed for clips

Top Twits Blog 2009 - Present
New York, NY

Founder, Writer/Editor
• Follow and post/comment on the best tweets from popular celebrity twitter accounts


Hofstra University, 2004
Bachelor of Arts: Creative Writing/English Literature

Media Bistro, 2010
Copy Editing Training


The New York Times: 2003 – Present
New York, NY
Ecommerce Editor
2007 - Present

  • Created and write two weekly newsletters, The Shopping List and The Screening Room, which gained thousands of readers in less than a year based on network and Twitter promotions.
  • Review freelance writers’ product reviews and ecommerce link placements to help enhance earnings while maintaining ethical standards.
  • Mentor writers on how to create search engine optimized content.
  • Develop editorial content specials based on themes produced by clients and using network content.
  • Work with production team to develop innovative advertorial units for specific clients within industry and network standards.

Guide Coordinator
2006 - 2007
  • Wrote internal communications on company standards, practices, and updates for freelance writers.
  • Coordinated events and staff meetings in New York City, San Francisco, Chicago, and Atlanta within a strict budget.
  • Prepared payroll for finance department by collecting from third parties and ensuring all calculations on pay period were correct for new and terminated freelance writers.

Client Services Account Coordinator
2004 - 2006
  • Assisted in selecting the best content sites with greatest inventory availability that would meet client needs and assure campaign delivery.
  • Created an internal database on how to best serve client inventory management and backend operations of the client services department.
  • Managed incoming sales leads by delegating them to appropriate sales people

Research Assistant
2003 - 2004
  • Worked with Neilson Ratings systems to create compelling slides for sales staff on comparative standings.

Sanky Communications 2007 - 2008
Copywriter New York, NY
  • Wrote copy for non-profit organizations including: Covenant House, World Hunger Day and others.
  • Conducted interviews for clients including the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation.
Email inquiries using the mail icon below.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Online Dating and TV Pursuits

As I've mentioned on here before, I've got a plethora of twitter accounts.

Recently, I added to that list a new account. I based it on my less than stellar experiences on I titled it MatchDotFail. I hoped it would take off and CBS would offer me a sitcom. Something like $%*t My Dad Says except funny.

"But Sue," you say, "You are one of the biggest opponents of What were you thinking?"

Yes, blog reader, you are correct. In fact, one of my most popular online videos is about how poorly previous attempts have gone at online dating:

But, in hopes of trying to find a soul mate, or at least a good tale to tell, I joined I'm now on my 6 months free period. It's been quite the wild ride, but surprisingly I am getting some sort of opportunity from it. I was asked to be in a commercial of a first date.

Basically, they would film me meeting a man in New York for dinner for our very first date. It's either the best opportunity I have for a credit, or an awful prank. So, should I reply to the request? It might gain traction on that Twitter TV show....

Thursday, April 08, 2010

Sexism in an Elevator

Sexism seems like such an archaic idea to me.

When I was little I was constantly told, "You can be whatever you want to be. You can be a doctor, or a lawyer, or even president."

I recall in nursery school playing with wooden blocks of career-appropriate dressed characters.
There was a woman in a business suit, a man in a business suit, a fireman, and a female police officer.

Oh the political correctness and equality of it all!

It didn't really occur to me that there was such a thing as woman not working, or wearing pants, until I read The American Girl books.
So, being raised in this 'modern' way certain things just baffle the hell out of me. For example, the fact that women are still paid less then men.
And for an even better example...

I'm at an elevator the other day, and two men are already waiting there. The down button has already been pressed, and I have to go up. I walk to the elevator and hit the up button, and smile politely at them. Then this happens:

I would've gotten that for you.

Oh, that's OK.

That's right.
(Turns to man next to MAN2 with complete conviction, voice completely lacking sarcasm.)
Women these days can do everything themselves.
They open doors for themselves, work for themselves.
They don't want a man to help them.

Yep! It's like we're good for just one thing.
(MAN 2 ends statement while looking lewdly.
Elevator arrives.)

Oh, you guys are going down. That's yours!


I then checked my calendar and found out that it was still the year 2010.

Then thought a little bit about whether or not I'd been in any hot tubs recently that could've secretly been time machines....

Then I did the math and realized that women have been working for a living for like over 30 years.

Then came to the conclusion, that yes, I had indeed run into sexual harassment.

The weird thing is, it was the first time I had ever encountered it in an office. I've been doing office work for about 10 years. Seems like a crazy margin for it to happen now.

I'd say I ran into the only man left that's sexist, but that would be a lie. I mean, I perform stand-up, there's still sexism out there - just like there's still racism out there.

This particular form of sexism is just so ridiculously antiquated.
Basically, it felt like I was getting sexually harassed Mad Men style.

...and yes, there was a dorky part of me that was a little excited about that.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Writer's Block

I have the worst grammar and spelling.

Well, I guess it's not the worst. I'm at least aware that it isn't great.
Still, it's shameful that I had to look up whether it was writers block, or writer's block.

Maybe it's my bad grammar that is the root of my writer's block.

I took a break to ponder this possibility, and -
watched 'The Bernie Mac Show", watched 'Malcom in the Middle', watched more 'Bernie Mac Show', got sad about Bernie Mac, tidied up the kitchen, thought about calling my mom, walked over to my computer to get my phone, checked TopTwitsBlog stats, saw a tweet about 'Modern Family', thought about a post I wanted to put on, started writing a blog, checked Facebook, and then realized...

It's not my shitty grammar that is blocking me.
I'm still writing and editing through that.
I can write new stand-up jokes
-although, judging from the Treehouse response last week, new ones weren't that great.

...and obviously, I can write cross promotional material.

My writer's block isn't an inability to write.

My writer's block is literally a bunch of writing projects backed up in my brain.
They are all angry about being dormant in my mind. I keep thinking about them and then think, I'll spend a day writing soon, when I have the time...

But, I'm just not making the time. I'm using my time to go out and play in the nice weather, hang out with friends and do fun stand-up shows.
And those things aren't necessarily bad for me to being doing instead of those writing projects.

I mean, we can't write if we don't experience things to write about, right?

Here's hoping those great ideas for spec scripts and pilots get angsty enough in my brain to manifest on a page.

Monday, January 04, 2010

Oh Online Dating, You Constant Source of Humor

I considered checking out that "Free Week of Communication" on Then I saw this:

   I figured, it was either, OR lay down and let... on Twitpic

To me it looks like this woman laid down in front of a mower to die.
Is that what online dating is?