Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I Want My Tip Back

This weekend i was in Atlantic City for a Bachelorette Party.
Wild fun times were had.

But during this crazy mini vacation my gal pals and I took a cab from one Casino to another. The cabbie was pretty quick to get us from point A to point B so I gave him a a generous tip, $4 on an 11 dollar cab ride.*

As we get out the cab dude at the Trump hotel waved the cabbie down and pointed the next man in line over to that cab.

The man walked towards the car and the cabbie shook his head side-to-side furiously. The Trump cab dude opened the door for the man and the cabbie said, "no", and drove off.

The man was black who was about to get into the cab.

I watched this occur and kept saying, "No, that guy is next, let him in!" and when he didn't and drove off, I tried to go after the cab. Unfortunately, in heels I'm barely able to stand straight, so I didn't make it to get my four bucks back.

Ever since this happened I've been really pissed. I mean, I gave this dude four bucks because he was nice to me, and then he goes all racist and mean to someone else?

Not cool. I hope he spent the four dollars on a really crappy slot machine and lost everything he owns because it was an enchanted slot machine that can tell when someone's a jerkface and rips them off to the -enth degree.

Take that jerkface racist cabbie!

*For some reason, I often act like I'm Steve Martin in My Blue Heaven and live with the philosophy of, "It's not so much tipping I believe in, but over tipping". This may be one of the many reasons I'm broke. I'll just cross my fingers and hope tipping is good karma.

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Astorian Pals

Within the past year two of my comedy pals have moved to Astoria: Joe Powers and Colin Dempsey.
On occasion these fella's and I enjoy a drink. This is a good thing/dangerous thing, because before they moved close we were known to drink more than our fair share. Now that we're in walking distance from each other, and off the same subway stop, well let's just say our livers may not enjoy us living around each other as much as we do.

About a month ago, Colin and his lady invited me and Joe over to a dinner party. Not wanting to do anything too crazy because I had plans the next day I said yes, thinking - it's just going down the block for some dinner, how crazy could it get?

Well, dinner wasn't too nuts. There were some other non-comics there that made conversation less focused on out-witting each other. A good time for all.

Until I found out about the next part of the dinner party...

"Ok, time for The Beer Garden!"

Wha? I had signed up for dinner, I could not possibly stay out late drinking at the beer garden. I politely declined and said I'd walk out with the group, but really must go home and get some rest.

"Oh come on now, just get one," Colin insisted in his thick Irish accent.

"Fine, just one," I replied.

When we got to the Beer Garden though, I realized I was in for a long night, as Colin handed me a pitcher of beer and said, "I said one, I didn't say what size that one would be."

Hours later and I'm drunk walking through the Burger King drive thru with Joe convincing the guy at the window we have an invisible mini van and need Whopper meals.

Colin's depiction of how my evening ended though is different, and false, but funny none-the-less.
Click here for picture of the three Astorian drunk comics and Colin's Story.