Sunday, September 21, 2008

Women's Revolution

Ok ladies, listen up! We need a revolution, and we need it now.
Keep your bras on.
Seriously, we need as a collective to stop letting men make us feel like shit. I'm tired of it. I love all you female pals so dearly, because you're not a piece of annoying crap. Yet, somehow all of you end up with guys that make you feel so less-than. It's time to stop.

Here's some tips to help lead the revolution.

1. Don't let anyone change you. - If you feel yourself going towards the darkside whenever you're around your significant other, run away! Come towards the light my sisters! Relationships should make you a better person, or help you feel good about who you are. If you've lost sight of who you are take a step back away from the man and find yourself.

2. Never let anyone put you down. - And yes, sleeping with a person that's insulted you may constitute as that coveted "make up sex", but do you realize what you're forgiving? You're saying "I accept you treating me badly". Just like people who have "yes Men" following them around don't make it - women with negative men are not going to go as far as they can.

3. You are not alone. - If the reason you stay with a guy is because of the fear of being alone, please stop and realize you're not alone. Friends are people who will always be there for you and make you smile when you need it. A lover doesn't always come with such a guarantee. Make sure to take time out to have fun with your pals.
AND being by yourself isn't such a bad thing. You learn a lot about what you like and dislike so that next time some jerkface comes along, you're more apt to spot them and send them on their way.

4. The only person that controls your mood and your actions is you. - If you say, "but he makes me feel -" Nope. You choose your mood. If you want to be sad about him, you're choosing it. Just like you're choosing your actions. If something makes you feel uncomfortable, you have a choice to let it or leave it. Personally, I'm saying leave it. There's more out there.

Now, I want to say that this decree today is spurned by not one friend's recent bad relationship, but several friends sour statuses with men, including ones of my own that are in the past. Which is possibly why I'm able to advise. I've got the wonderful hindsight kickin' in.

So, here's a mantra to remember when you're sad about something he's done.
You're the beautiful lady. You're the strong woman. You're the person that can choose whether or not you want to deal with this bull shit, and you can make it alone.
We're all a lot stronger than we think.

1 comment:

Andrea and Arthur said...

Sing it to me, sister girlfriend. It's incredible how smart, interesting, ambitious, beautiful women will allow themselves to fall prey to low self-esteem when it comes to men. It's so ingrained in our psyche/ the societal discourse that it seems to hit us from out of the blue. We've all been there and we're all culpable. We can only hope that we learn from the experiences, making us stronger and less prone to hurting ourselves further by not allowing the words/deeds of others dictate our self-image.