Sunday, September 28, 2008

An Open Letter to My Neighbors

I've been home the past three days with flu-like symptoms, after I tried to battle off a cold all week.
I'm exhausted, running a slight fever, and experiencing more of neighbors than I'm used to.
I'm used to coming home at 11pm (or later) and passing out, waking up around 7am and leaving shortly after.

So, all this time home has really made me want to say a few things to them. But since my throat is killing me and I'm not a confrontational person I will say it all here.

Dearest Neighbors,

I'm really happy that you get to spend so much time at home. It's good to know you enjoy your apartment.

I am also excited that you, too, love Madonna. As much as I enjoy the Immaculate Collection, I really think you're trying to push me over the "Borderline" here with how often and loud you're playing it.

If there is one small favor I could ask of you, could you please move the cart you use to load up all your groceries in? It's blocking the delivery guys who are coming to my door.
Oh? The delivery guys are bugging you. Well, maybe I wouldn't be so hungry if you weren't constantly grilling. I love a cook-out as much as anyone, but you seriously have grilled food every single day, for almost every meal. I think the only reason you skip breakfast is because you're busy outside hanging out your underwear, which is lovely, but -um, still not quite clean.

Thanks so much for being my neighbor. Perhaps, now that we're in contact - I could come to a bbq? Maybe the one you are having between 7-8? Well, if not that one I'm sure there will be another at 9.

Your Neighbor,
Sue Funke

Thursday, September 25, 2008

I just want you to like me

So, I talk a lot to my friends about how I feel that most people really don't care for me. I feel it's for several reasons.
-My need to make almost everything a joke
-I'm kinda nosey and annoying
-I'm neurotic and think most people don't like me.

My pal Blythe took this color test and sent it on to me, and not only did it peg me on that, a couple of other things too.
I'm not usually into this kinda stuff, but it's interesting - check it out:

ColorQuiz.comSue took the free personality test!

"Wants to make a favorable impression and be regard..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Women's Revolution

Ok ladies, listen up! We need a revolution, and we need it now.
Keep your bras on.
Seriously, we need as a collective to stop letting men make us feel like shit. I'm tired of it. I love all you female pals so dearly, because you're not a piece of annoying crap. Yet, somehow all of you end up with guys that make you feel so less-than. It's time to stop.

Here's some tips to help lead the revolution.

1. Don't let anyone change you. - If you feel yourself going towards the darkside whenever you're around your significant other, run away! Come towards the light my sisters! Relationships should make you a better person, or help you feel good about who you are. If you've lost sight of who you are take a step back away from the man and find yourself.

2. Never let anyone put you down. - And yes, sleeping with a person that's insulted you may constitute as that coveted "make up sex", but do you realize what you're forgiving? You're saying "I accept you treating me badly". Just like people who have "yes Men" following them around don't make it - women with negative men are not going to go as far as they can.

3. You are not alone. - If the reason you stay with a guy is because of the fear of being alone, please stop and realize you're not alone. Friends are people who will always be there for you and make you smile when you need it. A lover doesn't always come with such a guarantee. Make sure to take time out to have fun with your pals.
AND being by yourself isn't such a bad thing. You learn a lot about what you like and dislike so that next time some jerkface comes along, you're more apt to spot them and send them on their way.

4. The only person that controls your mood and your actions is you. - If you say, "but he makes me feel -" Nope. You choose your mood. If you want to be sad about him, you're choosing it. Just like you're choosing your actions. If something makes you feel uncomfortable, you have a choice to let it or leave it. Personally, I'm saying leave it. There's more out there.

Now, I want to say that this decree today is spurned by not one friend's recent bad relationship, but several friends sour statuses with men, including ones of my own that are in the past. Which is possibly why I'm able to advise. I've got the wonderful hindsight kickin' in.

So, here's a mantra to remember when you're sad about something he's done.
You're the beautiful lady. You're the strong woman. You're the person that can choose whether or not you want to deal with this bull shit, and you can make it alone.
We're all a lot stronger than we think.