Friday, March 21, 2008

Confession: I Love These Kittens

I have given up folks. I can't fight it anymore, this dog person - who was completely normal and in love with life single gal is now in love with the Dapper Duo.
Just look at these pictures and tell me they are not adorable:

I pick them up every morning and cradle them and say, "I love you!!!"

Like every f'in dorky cat lover I've ever mocked.

Oh, what has happened to me?

There's something so sad about loving kittens, calling them your boys, acting like they are really your kids with your female roommate who's your close pal, but not your life partner.

Pink and I have joked about being a sexless lesbian couple, but now with the kittens, it's kinda like we are. We sit around and discuss our parenting methods of the boys and talk about the funny little things they do.

They sleep with me.
I'll wake up and they're around. They wait till I come home to eat.
I'm a Mommy, but, closer to a foster one. Because ultimately they are Pink's cats.

I know them well enough to know their individual personalities, and I can tell them apart without using their collars. In person they are quite different. This picture best shows their "personalities":

On the left, we have Tux. I know this for several reasons:
  1. He's chubbier
  2. The swirl on his chin
  3. He's pushing his brother out of the picture
See, these brothers love each other, but Timber gets more attention and Tux can get bitchy about it.

The above picture is on the inside of my phone. The one below is on the front display:
Who am I??
I am a softy.

Ahem, I am also a comedian, and I've got show dates for April '08 posted.
Click here, and mark your calendars! I'll see you at the shows, I hope! :)

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Simple Meals for One Person

So, I'm broke and good things have come from it - I remembered how much I love to cook.
Here are three meals I've made to consume this weekend and this week.

Personal Vegetarian Pizza
1 personal pizza
1 handful of frozen spinach from a bag of frozen spinach (defrosted)
1 handful of frozen corn from a bag of frozen corn (defrosted)
3 mushrooms cut and sauteed in a pat of butter, garlic, rosemary, thyme, oregano
1 handful of low fat mozzarella cheese
sprinkling of parmsean cheese

The corn might seem weird in this recipe, but it actually adds a nice texture to the topping.

Spinach and Chicken meal
1 Chicken breast cubed, sauteed in a tbsp. of veggie oil with garlic, rosemary, thyme, organo and a dash of Ms. Dash garlic seasoning as well
1 handful of frozen spinach from a bag of frozen spinach (defrosted)
3 mushrooms cut and sauteed in tsp of veggie oil, onion powder, rosemary, thyme, oregano
1 handful of low fat mozzarella cheese

Combine all these ingredients.
Make sure not to over cook the mushrooms, they should only be in the pan like two minutes tops or else they'll burn or cook away. You want them to add more heartiness to the meal.

Spring Chicken
This is by far the weirdest experimental cooking I did today, but I'm the proudest of it because it turned out great.
1/2 can of dole pineapple chunks in juice
2 packets of apple oatmeal
apple juice
1 Chicken breast cubed
dash of apple pie seasoning

Basically, I saw the pineapple in the pantry and thought, "Man, I freakin' love sweet and sour chicken, but I can't really have the sour part anymore. I wish I could make a sweet chicken."
So I did.

I poured half of the pineapple can into the pan - with juice. Then I added some apple juice. Then I chucked in the chicken cubes and let it simmer together. I threw in a tiny bit of cinnamon and then switched to the apple pie seasoning to give it more of the apple sweetness flavor.
As I tasted it I realized that it needed to be over some sort of rice or pasta - but I didn't have any pasta or starch, so I looked in the pantry and saw the oatmeal packets and tried it out.
It was a great addition and really coated the chicken well and made the meal complete.

So, now I have lunch for the week other than pb and j sandwiches - oh and the best part, the chicken dishes took less than a half hour to prepare.

Thought I'd share because I know it's tough to figure out what to make when you're only making food for yourself -- oh and my best tip of all - buy chicken in bulk and freeze it individual, makes defrosting and cooking easier.

Monday, March 03, 2008

Eternal Happiness

On Friday night, after standing for an hour and a half through the hilarious "Don't Touch Me There" show, (It's a testament to how funny a show is, if you have to stand to see it - and after you see it standing for so long you walk out and remember the hilarity more than the discomfort - in this case hilarity won.) I went for a nice dinner with Raquel D'Apice, Joe Powers, and Rachel Parenta.

After which, we went through the rainy, snowy, slushy streets of Manhattan towards our perspective trains. Due to poor foot attire planning, Raquel left us at 1st avenue for the L train in hopes of feeling her feet sooner than never again. This left Mr. Powers, Parenta, and I to trek on towards Union Square and the yellow line trains.

On our walk we passed a Baskin Robbins with a giant sign in the front windows that made me stop in my squishy tracks: NEW REESE'S PEANUT BUTTERCUP SUNDAE AND SHAKE!
We all instantly wanted one, and thought for a minute or two about going in. But it was cold, I was poor, we weren't that hungry, so we didn't go in.

All weekend though, I thought about that sundae.
By Sunday I was no longer thinking about tasks, errands, even during conversations with Pink I would just nodd off and start thinking about how delicious that sundae would be...

So, on our weekly trip to the grocery store Pink and I stopped off at the Baskin Robbins attached to the Pathmark. I asked the guy at the counter for the Reese's Buttercup Sundae --
only to find they were out of that ice cream.


Pink's father happened to be visiting and said that he thought he could see tears in my eyes. The counter guy tried to woo me with other flavors that could be placed into this sundae, and I tried to play along, but I just couldn't settle.

So, when we got home and unpacked the groceries I sat uneasily on the couch fidgeting until finally I could no longer take it.
"I'm going to the one on Steinway."

"What about dinner?" Pink asked.

"It will be my dinner."

I walked to the Baskin Robbins on Steinway and Broadway and ordered my sundae. They not only had the ice cream, but the girl who made it did it up just like the photo that had been dancing around my mind.
Then, when I got to the cash register it rang up $5.95.
I looked in my little red wallet and saw only $5 - and all my change was in my other coat!
I looked up at the older gentleman behind the counter with watery eyes again.

"How much do you have?"
"Only 5, but I've got a credit card."
"Machine is broken," he paused and looked at me and before I could say anything else he said, "No problem. I give you a discount. You looked so happy about that sundae, how could I not?"

I thanked him several times and took my sundae back to the apartment.
And there I sat eating contently a sundae that was so delicious that I was happily full the rest of the evening.

It doesn't take much to make me happy.
Just something like this.

Sunday, March 02, 2008

I Got Reviewed!!

I was Googling myself this morning, because I've got so much writing and rehersing to do,
that I figured I should probably do something that has nothing to do with either of those things
-and I found out that one of the students that attended the show at Oberlin College wrote up a review of the show.

Click here to read a review of my stand up!

Saturday, March 01, 2008

Comedy, Family, Food = My Life Right Now

This blog could also be titled:
I'm Broke
Easter The Way Christ Intended - A Lazy Day of Reflection

Lots of great comedy going on right now. I've got a decent March schedule lined-up so far.
This year, I said I'd go to more comedy shows.
I have been really good at doing that.
Unfortunately, comedy somehow leads to social drinking. And social drinking leads to me taking cabs...
and that leads to me eating out of the vending machine at work and constantly complaining about how broke I am.
I don't know if my friends are sick of me saying it, but I sure am.

The fundwatch '08 is just beginning. I've still got the dreaded "t word" to deal with (t is for taxes and it's mighty frightening for me, cause I always owe money).

The brokeness doesn't just effect eating habits though. I'm also unable to spend Easter with the family in Florida this year. This won't be that big of deal, though. My family rarely gathers for Easter.

The first year I lived on my own in fact I started my lone Easter tradition - ordering in lamb, getting a good bottle of wine, and watching TV until I fall asleep.
Sure, it might sound pathetic and borderline alcoholic to you - but to me it's a lovely way to spend Easter Sunday.

My brother Mike's family orders in Chinese and watches movies. This may sound low key, but I believe my sister in law Tina may enjoy this more than Christmas.

The dedication to low key is something so rare for holidays.

Usually holidays mean: high stress family visits, the need for perfection, and extreme over eating

So, even though I'll miss out on this years Florida-Easter-Fest with my brother Matt, my Uncle Bill and my Mom at the house her and my step dad are renting for their "Snow Bird" month, at least I'll get a day of relaxation.
Even if I am broke, I intend on continuing my tradition.
And if I find myself worrying about the cash flow- well, there's always 3 buck chuck.

In other family news - Go check out my sister's book on This book is going to be hilarious. I know this, because her columns are so freakin' funny.
And I'd say that even if she wasn't my sister.