Thursday, January 10, 2008

For The Love of All Things Holy, Stay Away

There's this bug going around my office that people keep discussing. It's a stomach virus.

I spent the early half of 2007 in and out of hospitals due to stomach problems. I don't want anymore.

This virus sounds quite awful, and for the love of God and all things Holy, I don't want it.
I have been bathing in antibacterial lotions and eating really lightly.

I also recently met a new fella, and it makes me a little nervous how fond of him I am. This is because normally most men who like me are retards, and he is not a retard*. The other day co-workers were talking of their experiences with the virus while I was eating my pb and j on whole wheat at my desk. I also just happened to get a nice email from the fella and felt my tummy get a little flip-floppy. I sat there unsure of whether I was getting sick or falling for him.

As I kept dwelling on it, as I do, I pictured me seeing him later. I would be all happy and run up to him - and then just vomit all over him non-stop because of the virus. The weird thing is, I don't think he'd be at all mad. I think we'd both probably laugh at how horrifically typical it would be for that kind of random thing to happen.

I told him that story later on, and he agreed about the laughing. Then he told me to go wash my hands.

*POST UPDATE: He turned out to be retarded. Well, maybe not literally. Here's the info.

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