I signed up for a personals site.
I don't know why.
I guess maybe I thought I'd get to go out on another date on the next free weekend I have (Which is in March) or something.
Well, I can safely say that one weekend will be free because only losers seem to be attracted to me.
Here's a quick run-down if you're new here.
Last Guys I dated:
Most Recent Suitor - Thought I was planning our wedding when I was following up on his "Let's definitely hang out this weekend" request.
Suitor Before Recent -Is quite possibly retarded. He contacted me recently online with a message that had ghetto kindergarten grammar skills. The closing of this note? "I miss ur ass..."
Can you believe I didn't go running back to that Casanova? My standards are oh so high!
Suitor Before the Retard- Told me he was dying and had to break it off so he wouldn't hurt me. He has yet to die, though I believe he is still a living, breathing dork wad.
Guys I could have off this personal service (changed slightly to protected the anonymously retarded):
HeyLadyzzBK writes: "I'm lookin' for ladies in the NYC area to just be pals with, and eventually, if you're good in bed, have a lasting relationship with."
Oh, let me practice my kegels.
KingLookin4Queen writes: "Yo profile is hot and so is ur pic. Hit me up baby."
With eloquence such as this, how do I resist?
Well, at least I can search through all my matches...
There are zero matches?
Who is looking for a gal like me?
First one that comes up, I shit you not: NEGalWillDo42
It's the universe telling me to stay single.
I should've gotten the hint when Pink came home with two kittens.