How does one get over a bad seed?
Plant a new one.
For over a year now I've been off and on
with a bad seed.
My friends say he's no good,
but I listen to too much Aretha Franklin
which somehow makes it more appealing.
Last week I arrived at the understanding that I do need a new guy.
So where do you go in NYC, a city of millions, to find someone new?
This is not some hot club, but ye old Internet sites.
There are tons out there, but I ended up trying out:
Match.com "It's okay (and Free) to Look!"
ads are everywhere.
But ya know how much they charge per month?
like 40 bucks!
Am I 40 bucks desperate to date?
Oh, wait, I have 40 bucks to my name this week.
That's a NO.
I fill out my profile, quickly:
"I want a guy who will understand my crazy schedule
and hanging out at random times
to chill out with a beer, watch tv and eat nachos."
And I put up three photos-
Me on St. Patty's day in Chicago with a Sam Adams
Me in Atlantic City taking a shot
Me in my rainbowbrite shirt drinking a Grolsch
...there's a theme there...
I get matches back in two days from match.com
9 giant thugs with glowing crosses on big chains
and 1 normal looking dude (who never wrote back).
I get four emails from guys on Match.com
they are all much older, from Jersey or Long Island
and love my smile.
$40? No thanks.
Well, there's still Nerve.com
and I filled out a profile there too, quickly
I get back my compatible suitors from Nerve -
they're all chicks.
I double checked that I'm there for men.
Apparently, the Nerve thinks I'm a lesbian.
Online dating was quite possibly one of the most depressing things I've ever done.
All profiles have been taken down.
I guess I just wasn't made for these times.