Monday, April 16, 2007

More Like Anor-SEXY-a!

I have a wicked evil sense of humor.

I'm a stand-up comic,
on stage I don't necessarily push the envelope,
but I start some shit,
well kinda like little turdlets compared to what others stay on stage.

With my friends though,
I'm a F*&#ing sailor of the high seas of foul language,
and I make fun of everyone
but none do I mock more than the anorexic and bulemic.

I always thought:
Anorexic Girls = Lame

I would tell you some of my jokes, but honestly,
they aren't for mixed company.

Seriously, it's easy to joke as a beautiful buxom girl,
about how skinny bitches be stupid.

But now that I can't eat
due to my hital hernia
I'm pretty much anorexic.

I barely eat;
I lived off of 6 saltines with peatnut butter,
and 1/4 of a bagel today.

I didn't really think it was possible to live off of that little.
Or how miserable a lifestyle it is -
because everyone says how great you look,
and you're in total pain inside.

So, um, my bad Paris Hilton and those types.

And for laughing my ass off at this:
Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @

I can't help it, it's still funny.

But I feel for your plight, and I laugh from a place of knowing now, and...
Well I certainly got my come-uppin's


JAZ said...

If you feel bad for Paris, Nicole and Lindsay, then you truly are ill, my sister.

I shall place sacrificial Ho-Hos and Crunch n' Munch at the Appetite Alter and pray that you receive a healthy appetite, one where you can eat a sensible meal without spewing

Unknown said...

Ha! You're right, no pity for the chosen anorexic.