There's this album I was obsessed with in 2005,
it's titled "Give Up" and it's by The Postal Service.
It's amazingly effective at mimicking the process of Giving Up:
being in a rut, breaking up, moving on, and reflection.
It could be my theme album.
See, In my life
I've given up a lot of things, habits, people.
But NEVER Cheese.
So, when the doctor said I'd have to give up eating dairy products*
I of course thought:
Sure I can give up milk, no problem.
but the thing is dairy products include cheese.
Here's the thing folks,
I am not just a cheese loving girl,
I'm all about cheese.
Here's my regularly scheduled menu:
Bagel and cream cheese, maybe scallion, or even lox spread to treat myself
Egg and cheese, maybe with ham, or bacon to ease my hang over
Lunch/Dinner (choose any from list below)
Chicken Roll w/ garlic knots
Cheesy Gordita Crunch
Cheese Burger with Cheese Fries
Burrito with extra cheese, sour cream smothering
Nachos with extra cheese and a cheese Quesadilla, sour cream smothering
Left over chinese food with melted cheese
Can you feel your arteries clog and your cholesterol soar?
I could. It was creepy.
So, I gave up**.
This first cheese free week has been a challenge.
What do you eat when the only food you eat is taken away?
I mean, I rarely eat vegetables that aren't covered in cheese.
This was obviously something I couldn't handle on my own.
I had to whine about it to everyone
at work, at open mics, at the subway station.
"Did I mention I can't eat pizza?" was my catch phrase.
(Take that Paris!)
Because I hate to complain without acting on making it better,
I did a smart thing and went to a nutritionist.
Now watch out people, I'm going to be cooking, eating nuts,
and taking names - of health food stores.
And as for continuing to listen to the Postal Service's "Give Up",
probably not as compulsively as I did in 2005.
I got the giving up process down.
Instead, I keep listening to Rilo Kiely's song "The Absence of God"
but replacing the word God with cheese.
...I'm gonna be ok,
*I am not lactose intolerant. I do have constant sinus pain due to allergies.
I am extremely prone to getting sinus infections.
At least 2-4 a year that usually last longer than a week, sometimes over a month.
I've had my tonsils removed, and then a doctor told me it might be dairy.
I went to another doctor who gave me shots and then when that wasn't working said it might be dairy.
I then went to a new primary care doctor and was told it might be dairy.
So, I'm accepting my freakish dairy sinus allergy, common in children - which makes sense because I'm so childlike.
I mean, I'm not chubby - it's the baby fat.
**Also, I had to give up on coffee due to the high cholesterol and chest pains.
When you give up smoke breaks it's easy to take up coffee breaks.
Giving up coffee isn't hard when you've got green tea on your side.
Green tea actually makes me feel more caffeinated and alert than coffee ever did.