Sunday, September 03, 2006

When in NYC do as I'd Like You to

I was in Mid-Town NYC today.

I hate Mid-Town.

When people come to Manhattan, that is where they go, and it's awful.

They say when in Rome, do as the Romans do.
In New York, people really need to learn how to do as the NYers do.

And since I'm such a giver, here you go:

Tips for New York City Tourists:

  • It's great that you came with all your friends and/or family, but single file people, there's a lot of us here and it's a narrow island.
  • Yes, the buildings are very tall, but while you were looking up you either stepped on a foot, or a small dog from one of our poorer citizens who can't afford the couture doggy carrier had to let walk.
  • There are a lot of great big signs! I'll save you time, they're just advertisements, same stuff you see at home on your TV except it is on a big outdoor TV, keep walking.
  • Uh-oh, you're lost, you're turned around, you're not sure where to go. Don't stop in the middle of the sidewalk suddenly, you will cause a pile up. Pull over to the side of the sidewalk and pull out the map.
  • There are tons of landmarks which means it's a photo op time! Look both ways before you take your photo, because if you're doing it in the middle of the sidewalk I'm going to walk through it, and it's not my fault.
  • Got tickets to a Broadway show? Don't crowd the sidewalk in front of the theater, you've got tickets, you'll get your seat, so stand towards the side of the building, people need to walk by on that sidewalk.
Also, make sure you try the pizza and Murray's Bagels, sushi, and thai food while you're here.

New Yorkers, you have any tips I've left out? Please feel free to add in the comments.

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