Monday, May 08, 2006

Proof of Age

I don't have an ID at the moment (see ...The Morning After)
So when I showed up at a scheduled reunion of friends at the Beer Garden in Astoria I was faced with proving to a cop that I am in fact, 24 years old.
First, I tried the ol' walk right in. But he was a cop and he wasn't haven't it.
Deep breath.
"ok, so here's the deal - I lost my wallet. In my wallet I had the drivers license proving I'm 24 years old, born December 5, 1981."

He laughed at my attempt, but said that it was a risk for not just him, but also the owners, and he asked me if I came here often.
I hadn't been there in a year.
I needed to pull out the big guns.
I have a mini wallet with lesser used cards that I pulled out.

"Ok, so here's all the proof I have of who I am -
An NPR membership card, what person under 21 is a card carrying member of public radio?
A savings account card, with my name on it. Officer, when you were under 21 did you have a savings account, I doubt it.
And the big kicker, I have a business card, what kind of kid has a busniess card?
I have a 401K for Christ sake, and I'm starting to get wrinkles - you can't get wrinkles from being under 21, you can get wrinkles from being a hard working, stressed out, forgetful 24 year old who lost her wallet and just wants a beer with her friends. So, what do you say?"
He sighed.
That's when I pulled out the even bigger gun.
"You can call my mom, she will tell you. I'll call from my cell, you can see it says Mom and she's a God loving woman, Officer, she will tell you the truth. That I am 24 and I lost my wallet...and that I need a drink."

He looked at my friend Debbie, and says "how old are you?"
"I'm 24 too, she's older than me" she says as she hands over her id.
He looks at me funny and I say "December 5, 1981" and he reads Debbie's January, 16, 1982.

He then rolled his eyes and let me in.

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